In the name of YOU

The point of despair is always so close to me.

After any event & any challenge, I feel frustrated as soon as possible.

Honestly speaking, I like it.

The feeling of despair gives me power.

- for what?

- Obviously, to rebel!

- Rebel Against what?

- anything that I want.

-Even against me?

-Even against you...my Lord! Even against the ideology that says you exist! But…if I could see you. Only if I could see you..

- does it make any difference? I don't think so.

- What do you mean?

- I mean now you rebel against the God you can't see. at that time, you will rebel against a God who you can see! there is not much difference. isn't it?

- maybe… and may not be. I just want to know about all things. I rebel, but after any chaos I miss you. I hate your silence.can you believe me? Ok, I've lost my certainty and I can't see you, but until I find it, I at least can believe in a super power who I feel his sadness.

- and?

- and…I try to reconsider my behavior. ... deal?

- deal.

- just...

help me to find you…

this frustration is killing me...

In the name of God

I had a bad dream…and now, at 3:42 after midnight, I'm thinking of the meaning of life. After the faintest parts of my choices, I have a huge question sign and even before any decision I ask myself: WHY?

"That's too hard to continue in this way," My Wife said.

"But making a life in which always everything has been ok, is not honorable," I replied. "we'll try because our family deserves it."

And now, at 3:42 a.m., I'm thinking how can I go through life, when everything is doubtful?

Let's think that I'm so rich. After that?

Why should we work hard? To be like the God? Was he working hard too?

I've lost something & I don't know what.

I need something & I have no idea about it.

I should be somewhere and I don't know where.

And, that’s the worst feeling a human being can have.  

I AM LOST.

Nowadays, I need to be the guy who puts everything aside and review his thoughts, his life, his wealth and, his regrets.

My regrets…how I love them.

I think I'll probably die thinking about my regrets.

By the way, what's the meaning of your life?

We are so weird. We run away from something and then miss our past (when we had this thing).

"Beyond that, women are not lawful for you, nor that you should change them for other wives even though their beauty should impress you".